Do you often find yourself feeling like the third wheel, the person who is easily taken advantage of, or the one whose opinions don’t matter? If so, you’re not alone.
In this article, we’ll explore why you always get played and what you can do to change that.
Lacking Presence and Failing to Demand Respect
From lacking presence and failing to demand respect, to being too trusting and accommodating, there are many reasons why people might take advantage of you. But with a little bit of self-awareness and a few practical strategies, you can start to take control of your life and stop being played once and for all.
No Presence
One of the key reasons why you might be getting played is that you lack presence. When you enter a room or engage in conversation, do you exude confidence and self-assurance, or do you shrink back and blend into the background?
A lack of presence means you’re always the third wheel in any social context. You are the plus one, the one for whom there are no chairs, the one people forget is even there.
Not Demanding Respect
Respect is something that needs to be earned, but it’s also something that you can demand. The way you allow others to treat you sets the standard for how they’ll treat you in the future. People notice how tolerant you are of being the subject of all the jokes, and even if you don’t like it, you don’t say anything about it. This forms an image that you’re always the easy target, the one who won’t say anything or push back. If you keep up with this image of yourself, it’ll be incredibly difficult to break it. You can blame your inner circle for not being sensitive, but you’re also the one to blame for not demanding more respect.
No Valuable Input
If you find yourself constantly being talked over or ignored in conversation, it’s possible you just have nothing valuable to say or your delivery sucks. It’s about being able to entertain an idea. If your standard response is “for real,” then you can’t be that surprised why people don’t care what you have to say. Some people are naturally charismatic, and being engaged in a conversation comes easily to them. Others are not. They will say they’re the quiet type, but here’s the reality: there is no upside to being the quiet type. If you don’t learn to speak up, people won’t listen to you even when you do have something valuable to say.
Not Speaking Up
Sometimes it’s necessary to be assertive and loud, whether it’s speaking up for your rights, expressing your needs, or pushing back against unfair treatment. You need to have the courage to be loud when necessary. The generation that grew up on the internet are the loudest people online but quiet little puppies offline. They seem to constantly seek confrontation on the internet but always run from it in the real world. We’re not saying to go out there and be a jerk to everybody. There will always be situations where someone mistreats you knowingly or unknowingly, and that’s when you need to speak up and be loud.
Not Setting Clear Boundaries
If you’re not clear about your boundaries or unwilling to defend them, you’re making it easy for others to manipulate and control you. Sometimes people haven’t even considered what their boundaries are and how much they’re willing to put up with from others. To become more self-aware and build up the confidence you need to stand your ground in all areas of life, with friends and family, romantic partners, and in your career.
Not Trusting Your Intuition
Intuition is a powerful tool that can help you avoid being played. If you find yourself doubting your own instincts or dismissing warning signs, you’re setting yourself up for trouble. Trusting your intuition requires practice and self-awareness. You can start by paying attention to your gut feelings and red flags in your relationships and connections.
Lacking Self-Awareness
Self-awareness is the ability to recognize your own thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. If you lack self-awareness, you might not realize when you’re being played or why you keep falling into the same traps. When you’re self-aware, you recognize your biases, values, and beliefs. It makes you more stable and grounded.
Being Too Trusting
While it’s important to have faith in others, being too trusting can leave you vulnerable to being played. Learn how to put fail-safes in place and don’t be afraid to ask for guarantees or hold people accountable.
Being Too Accommodating
Being too accommodating can leave you vulnerable to manipulation. People who always try to please everyone will always be taken advantage of. Ironically, you get more respect from saying no than saying yes.
Lacking Confidence
Confidence is key when it comes to avoiding being played. If you lack confidence in yourself and your abilities, you might find people taking advantage of you or treating you poorly.
Not Asserting Your Needs
If you have expectations from other people, let them know. You can’t expect people to read your mind, and you don’t get to be upset when they don’t act the way you hoped they would. If you don’t let people know what your needs are, your needs will never be met.
Being Too Eager to Please
It’s important to be kind and considerate, but it’s also important to maintain your own authenticity and individuality. There’s a fine line between being supportive and being an ass-kisser. Help when you can and offer support to those who need it, but take care of yourself first.
Not Communicating Effectively
Effective communication is key when it comes to avoiding being played. If you’re not able to express yourself clearly and assertively, people might misunderstand you or take advantage of your inability to communicate effectively. Start working on improving your communication skills by being clear, direct, and assertive in expressing your thoughts and feelings.
You Don’t Value Yourself
One of the biggest reasons why you might be getting played is that you don’t value yourself enough. When you don’t see your own worth, you’re more likely to accept poor treatment or settle for less than you deserve. It’s important to work on building your self-esteem and recognizing your own value and worth. When you value yourself, you’re less likely to allow others to mistreat you or manipulate you. If you find yourself constantly being played by others, try to recognize these traits in yourself and start changing them.
Respect Yourself: Others Will Follow Suit
Remember that you hold the key to how others treat you. If you don’t respect yourself and hold yourself accountable, nobody else will. It all starts with the way you treat yourself. So, start by recognizing your worth and building your self-esteem. Hold yourself to a high standard and don’t settle for less than you deserve. When you respect yourself, others will follow suit.
In conclusion, being too passive in relationships can lead to poor treatment and manipulation by others. It’s important to assert yourself by expressing your needs and wants and not settling for less than you deserve. Recognizing your own value and building your self-esteem can also help prevent being played by others. Remember that respecting yourself sets the tone for how others treat you. By holding yourself accountable and valuing yourself, you can create healthy and fulfilling relationships. We hope these tips were helpful, and we invite you to continue exploring personal growth and development.
