Have you ever found yourself saying sorry for things that didn’t require an apology? Saying sorry too much undermines how others see you and how you see yourself, and it can affect you at home and work. In this article, we’ll cover why you apologize too much, how it can ruin your relationships, and how to stop over-apologizing.
Why Do You Apologize Too Much?
The first reason is low self-esteem. If you feel like you’re not good enough, you may apologize to seek approval from others. The second reason is to avoid conflict. You may apologize preemptively to try to tone down any anger or disagreement. Lastly, some people apologize excessively as a way of being polite, which might be seen as a sign of respect and humility in some cultures, but in other cultures, it might be viewed as a sign of weakness or subservience.
How Over-Apologizing Can Affect Your Relationships
Over-apologizing can make both you and your partner feel less secure in your relationship. It can cause your partner to feel like they can’t express their feelings or opinions. By saying sorry too much, you’re also making yourself look uncertain, unskilled, insecure, and easily manipulated. It interferes with good communication and can lead to resentment, lack of clarity, and lack of good ideas being shared.
How to Stop Over-Apologizing
To stop over-apologizing, you need to become more aware of when you do it. You can also try to reframe your apologies as gratitude or appreciation. Instead of saying, “I’m sorry for being late,” say, “Thank you for waiting for me.” It shows that you’re acknowledging the other person’s time and effort, rather than putting yourself down.
Another way to stop over-apologizing is to focus on your self-talk. If you catch yourself saying sorry too much, ask yourself if it’s necessary. Is it something that requires an apology? Or are you seeking validation or avoiding conflict? Challenge your negative self-talk and replace it with positive affirmations.
If you struggle with low self-esteem, seeking professional help may be beneficial. A therapist can help you address the underlying issues and teach you practical ways to improve how you see yourself and how you talk to yourself.
Improving Your Self-Esteem
Improving your self-esteem is a lifelong process. It takes time, effort, and patience. One practical way to improve your self-esteem is to practice self-compassion. Treat yourself with the same kindness, concern, and support that you would offer to a good friend. Be mindful of your thoughts and feelings, and try to be more accepting and understanding of yourself.
Another way to improve your self-esteem is to set realistic goals and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small they are. Learn from your mistakes, and don’t let them define you. Instead, use them as opportunities to grow and learn.
In conclusion, Saying sorry too much can harm your relationships and self-esteem. By understanding why you apologize too much and learning how to stop over-apologizing, you can improve your communication, build stronger relationships, and increase your self-worth. Remember, improving your self-esteem is a lifelong process that takes time and effort. But with the right mindset and tools, you can make progress and become a more confident, assertive, and self-assured person.
