Today we’re going to learn about the 30-second rule of attraction.
You have 30 seconds to win over the woman of your dreams,
no pressure those 30 seconds will make or break the future of your connection.
If you make the wrong impression, your opportunity flies out the window
You fade into the background with all the other forgettable guys, she meets just like that your golden moment disappears, but if you make the right impression you can capture her attention, you can change the direction of your relationship, you can create a powerful spark that fuels and develops your connection.
So, how do you capitalize on this brief window? how do you turn 30 seconds into a lasting impression?
Avoid borrowed lines
So, what opening lines make the best first impression?
Most guys want to start with something funny and flirty.
They want to get her smiling right away, so they use gut-wrenching pickup lines and cheesy innuendos but guess what happens when you start the conversation with a bad borrowed line!
Immediately you hurt your chances you’re putting yourself on the back foot, on rare occasions pickup lines get a laugh or a smile, but that’s the exception and not the rule.
In general, women cringe when they hear these obnoxious lines you may think you’re being clever, you may think you’re setting a flirtatious tone for the conversation, but it’s exactly the opposite a pickup line shows her that you’re unoriginal and a little bit desperate.
So, don’t use cheesy lines, don’t soften your approach with the play on words, it may seem like a good idea, but your pickup line will almost always backfire.
Finding that smile
Many guys ruin their chances because they use humor the wrong way, within the first 30 seconds they try to keep her laughing continuously, so they shoot for the stars they make inappropriate and often unwelcome jokes and they end up missing their only shot
Over the course of your entire conversation, you should try to make her laugh.
Women are drawn to guys who have a sense of humor, they want guys who can get a real laugh out of them.
Not just a friendly chuckle but in the first 30 seconds you don’t need to crack them up instead of aiming for a big.
Open mouth laugh your goal should be smaller, just make her smile not a little polite smile but a real genuine smile.
If you can earn that smile in the first 30 seconds well you’ve laid the groundwork for a solid connection.
Positive personality
What’s the one thing you should always avoid in the first 30 seconds?
Negativity if you only have 30 seconds to leave an impression, every comment matters the things you say represent who you are as a person your mindset, your sense of humor, your attitude toward life, but what if you spend those 30 seconds complaining? what if you’re negative at the beginning of the conversation?
That negativity is going to affect her opinion of you, she’ll assume you’re a negative person and that may push her away.
Women prefer guys who are confident and positive, they don’t want someone who consistently brings them down because negativity sucks the fun out of the conversation and turns a flirty encounter into a pity party.
So, spend those 30 seconds being positive and continue that positivity once those 30 seconds have passed you may feel like complaining but your complaints are never going to winter over.
Stay on the surface
Just like you should avoid complaints, stop yourself from getting too personal, this trap happens to guys all the time.
They try to be expressive and vulnerable but instead they overstep they share something way too personal and that makes her feel uncomfortable and awkward.
You may want to tell her a story or maybe you want to share a secret with her to create a more intimate connection whichever one you choose stay on the surface, don’t ramble about painful memories don’t tell her stories about difficult or depressing moments in your life
Those stories and secrets color her first impression of you in the first 30 seconds, she’s deciding whether or not she’s going to invest in you as a person if her first impression of you is sad or emotional, you’re off to a rough start.
Ask her questions
In the first 30 seconds you should avoid complaints and personal stories but what should you talk about instead?
Asking questions is a foolproof strategy that really works because it helps you to get to know her, questions are how you show interest in her life.
If you ask good questions, you can also get the conversation rolling but there are two key things to remember
When asking questions when you ask someone questions don’t limit the answers to yes and no, you want to ask open-ended questions and that way she can respond with full and interesting answers.
All right, let’s say you’re talking about her hometown if you ask did you like growing up there, she’s going to give you a short and quick answer a yes or a no, the conversation’s going to die down really fast and you won’t actually learn that much about her.
Instead, ask her this so what did you like about growing up there?
By changing the phrasing, you’re opening up the conversation.
The second key thing to remember is listening, so many guys ask good questions and then fail to listen to the answers.
They get so wrapped up in their worries they stop paying attention, so if you’re going to ask a question, really listen to the answer, not only will she appreciate that you’re a good listener, the conversation will unfold much more naturally.
Return the favor
If you ask her questions, be prepared to answer questions yourself.
you can’t skate through a conversation without saying anything about your life, she doesn’t want to answer questions the entire time, she wants to learn about you too.
She wants to see if you’re a good fit for her, so don’t try to act cool or play hard to get.
Don’t keep your emotions bottled up, be expressive if she asks you a question then give her a real genuine answer, just make sure you don’t talk too long.
If you spend the whole conversation telling one story, you’re not going to make a good first impression you’re going to bore her to death
Now it helps to remember the reason that you’re telling that story you don’t need to hear yourself talk.
You don’t need to tell the story itself, the goal is to give the other person a glimpse into who you are because that’s how people connect with one another.
They give each other glimpses into their personalities, if she likes what she sees, you have a better chance moving forward.
Open your body
Speech is important but body language plays an equally important role because body language can change the tone of anything that you say or do.
All right, let’s say you ask her a question about her life if your body language is closed and distant how is she going to react?
She may not want to share anything about herself, she may think you don’t care or that you’re not listening.
If your body language is open and friendly, your questions take a different shape, you seem interested and curious you look attentive and comfortable.
These changes motivate her to give longer positive answers and further enjoy the conversation.
In the first 30 seconds, body language decides the tone of your interaction, so just make sure your body language matches your intention.
Friendly teasing
can you tease someone you just met?
Teasing is not reserved for old friendships or long-term relationships, teasing is something you can do right at the beginning.
You can throw some flirtatious jabs their way, you can make fun of them for something weird they said or did, but just make sure you’re teasing her for the right reasons.
Don’t make her feel small or stupid, the goal isn’t to laugh at her it’s to laugh with her.
If done right teasing completely changes the tone of your conversation instead of feeling boring and stale the conversation takes a playful turn.
You start teasing each other back and forth, and that teasing can develop a spark well, why is that well?
Because it shows your sense of humor, it tells her that you’re quick and intelligent.
Most of all it makes the conversation more fun, there’s nothing wrong with a nice conversation but a fun conversation will leave her wanting more.
Focus your attention
In those 30 seconds, don’t let anything distract you, not your phone, not your friends, not some random thought you had in the back of your mind.
If you want to make a good first impression, there’s one thing you must do, you must give her your undivided attention.
Now i’m not telling you to stare at her for the entire conversation, in fact make sure you don’t stare but you don’t want her to think you aren’t listening or that you don’t care.
To give someone your undivided attention, you should do three things, nod, smile, and look.
When you listen to someone you have to show them that you’re listening a small nod, a friendly smile, and a comfortable amount of eye contact tells her that you’re paying attention because that’s the most important thing.
If you don’t show her that you’re paying attention she won’t know either way, so use these small signals to send your message, make sure she knows she has your undivided attention.
